By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
