Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
My ATM looks so different sober.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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