I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
