He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Randomize
