I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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