his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
