I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
