so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
