Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Randomize
