At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
