He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
