I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
