Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
