My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
