there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
