Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
