Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
