Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
