She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
