Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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