so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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