Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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