I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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