We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
