just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
