You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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