the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
