8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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