Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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