I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
