I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
