Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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