i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
