i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
