as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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