I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
