what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
