Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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