Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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