If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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