So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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