The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
