I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Randomize
