I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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