That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
