It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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