Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I just had sex on a roof
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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