Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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