I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Randomize
