He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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